Orators Forum Institute

for Human Development & Behavioural Therapy

NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) - Hypnosis - Cognitive Behavioural Therapy; Personalized Hypno-Coaching & Hypno-Therapy
 
Certified NLP Master Practitioners (USA); Advanced Neurolinguistic Hypnotherapist (USA); Advanced 5PATH Hypnotherapist (USA)

 

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BUSINESS PARTNER BY:

 

 

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A FREE SESSION of

   HYPNO LIFE COACHING for

       RELAXATION & STRESS MANAGEMENT

          incorporating 

NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming),

      HYPNOSIS & HYPNOTHERAPY

    * FREE "SELF-HYPNOSIS" 

AUDIO RECORDING 

FOR EVERY PARTICIPANT

Saturday, December 12, 2015
4 pm to 7 pm
To register - click EVENTS page

 

Published in KOHL Magazine in Dubai, November 2008

 

THE HORROR OF CHILD ABUSE

For seven years of her childhood, Safiya Hussain was sexually and physically abused.

The effects of that devastation lasted much longer, but Safiya tells how she refused to become a victim

There’s a remarkable confidence about Safiya Hussain, it brims over and resonates with her every sentence. And you’d never know that the lady sitting next to you was once subjected to the most brutal form of child abuse. The perpetrator was her uncle – her mother’s brother – who sexually and physically abused her for seven years. Safiya’s voice cracks as she remembers, “I would feel so dirty, and extremely helpless. And I could not tell anyone that I was being abused because my uncle threatened to kill me.” The abuse filled Safiya with anger and fear, confusion and doubt.
 
In later years, she suffered from vertigo, claustrophobia, panic attacks, and infertility. “My body was a haven for disease, and my marriage was suffering because at some level, I did not want to be touched at all.” But she managed to rebuild her life, and now she helps other people, including victims of child abuse, rebuild theirs. She has even forgiven her uncle, and tells, “If it had not been for the experience of abuse, I would not be the way I am. I am a fighter,  a winner, and I am too busy to be sad now.”
 
Safiya, who was sexually and physically abused by her uncle, for the first seven years of her life says, “I would feel so dirty
but I did not tell anyone, as my uncle threatened to kill me.” Recalls Safiya, “We lived in a joint family, and I was raised by my grandmother and uncles. My parents lived in Delhi, while we were in Bangalore. Whenever the family would go out for weddings or for outings on Sundays, my uncle would insist on staying at home with me. He would then take me to a small, dark, dingy room, put me down on the floor, and touch me inappropriately. I would feel so dirty.” Her voice cracks a little as she says, “Even in the presence of family members, he would take me to the garden and then proceed to rip my clothes off and molest me.” The abuse was not just sexual, Safiya’s uncle also hurt her physically. “He would shake me so much that my entire body would vibrate. He would throw me down on the floor, and he would keep his hand over my mouth and nose so that I couldn’t scream. I would feel extremely helpless.” Safiya says that the abuse happened for the first time when she was three years old and continued till she was ten. She continues, “I suffered from vertigo. Whenever the family would go out for weddings or for outings on Sundays, my uncle would insist on staying at home with me”
 
“I could not tell anyone that I was being abused because my uncle threatened to kill me. I wrote my mother letters, saying, ‘I cannot live here’. But my parents never responded, they were never there to support me. No one was there for me.”

“I KEPT TELLING MYSELF I WAS GOOD FOR NOTHING”

She continues, “I was filled with confusion and doubt. I would keep telling myself that I was good for nothing, that I was ugly.” The battering that Safiya took also manifested itself in the form of physical abnormalities. She remembers being a hunchback in school. “I was very scared, and also very angry. I used abusive words while speaking. On one hand I was bold and confident but on the other hand I was subdued and submissive. The multiple personality was a result of confusion at home since I couldn’t confide in anyone regarding the abuse I was facing.”

“HE TORE MY CLOTHES OFF...”

Safiya’s voice chokes with emotion as she relives a particularly horrific incident. “I was seven years old, when one Sunday my uncle took me along to the shops. He said he wanted to show me something new. Once we got there, he locked me inside a room. I had an awful feeling that he was going to do something very bad to me. So I hit him and ran out. I was screaming in the bazaar, running out, crying for help. But people were too busy to help me. I reached my aunt’s house and explained my ordeal to her. But she didn’t believe me. My uncle followed me home, and I remember being absolutely terrified. He caught me on the staircase, tore off my clothes and slapped me. I don’t remember what happened later.”

“MY BODY BECAME A HAVEN FOR DISEASES”

“I finally left that house and moved to my parent’s house in Delhi when I was 18. But the trauma that I endured as a child was the basis of the health issues that I suffered from later in life.

How to deal with child abuse

Alert legal authorities immediately as the perpetrator could pose a risk to other children as well. Don’t blame the child for what has happened. This can make it harder for them to cope and may lead to less disclosure from them about the event. Get help for the child to save them from further pain and help them lead healthy, nurtured lives.

What you NEED TO KNOW about child abuse

 The various forms of child abuse are:

Physical abuse

Sexual abuse

Emotional abuse

Neglectful parenting

Effects

The effects of abuse can be long lasting and difficulttoreverse, especially if professional intervention is not sought at the earliest. The emotional effects can include, but are not limited to, depression, anxiety, low self-esteem or body image, regressive behaviour, aggressive behaviour and difficultiesin creating and maintaining long-lasting relationships. The behavioural effects can be just as debilitating, and can include poor academic performance, antisocial or criminal behaviour, illegal activities, substance abuse, eating disorders, strained relationships or avoidance of intimacy, and suicide attempts.

Treatment

Treatment for abuse involves understanding the reasons for abuse and related dysfunctions, but more importantly, focuses on the feelings of anger and guilt associated with the abuse. The therapeutic journey is never an easy one but those who are committed to the process may resolve their feelings as they progress through the therapy.

Prevention

Speak to your child about acceptable and unacceptable touching and behaviour from anyone, including family members and domestic staff. In a majority of cases of child abuse, the perpetrators are people close to the family. It is also important to monitor all the people your child is in contact with and talk to them in detail about significant events in their day. They may not volunteer this information so it is important to ask specific questions.

SHOCKING FACTS

CHILDREN IN THE AGE GROUP OF 5-15 YEARS ARE MOST LIKELY TO BE TARGETTED BY ABUSERS.

MOST CHILDREN ARE SEXUALLY ABUSED AT HOME AND OVER 70 PER CENT OF ABUSERS ARE IMMEDIATE FAMILY MEMBERS OR SOMEONE VERY CLOSE TO THE FAMILY.

INTERNATIONAL CULTURAL WOMEN’S FORUM, UAE REGISTERED 21 CASES OF SEXUAL ATTACKS IN 2007, WHERE THE VICTIMS WERE MOSTLY GIRLS UNDER THE AGE OF 14.

THE SUPREME COUNCIL FOR FAMILY AFFAIRS IN SHARJAH REVEALED IN 2007 THAT A FAMILY MEMBER WAS THE ATTACKER IN 80 PER CENT OF CHILD SEX ABUSE CASES IN THE UAE.

Published in GOOD LIVING Magazine in Dubai, December 2007

A Wider State Of Subconscious

GOODLIVING examines the art of hypnotherapy and 

discovers a technique with life changing potential

History is littered with inaccuracies regarding the mind; half-baked misconceptions that have clogged up our knowledge of how the human brain works. We’ve been fooled into thinking it’s grey and made of solid matter, as well as hoodwinked by information indicating we only use 10 per cent of it’s capacity. Lies all lies. 

Along the way, processes relating to brain activity have suffered by association, mainly due to a similar lack of scientific knowledge and weekend TV game shows in the 1980s. The countless legions of lounge entertainers, whose hypnotic gold pocket watch often persuaded willing audience members into believing they were a duck, stuntman or Gladys Night and Pips, didn’t really help the cause. 

It has ultimately led to a profession that many dismiss out of hand and others find simply too much of a leap of faith to appreciate, often brought on by a fear of the unknown, the rational mind simply refuses to accept the possibility that hidden within the dark recesses of our brain is the ability to achieve so much more.

An abbreviation of James Braid’s 1843 term, neuro-hypnotism, which means ‘sleep of the nervous system’ a person who is in a state of hypnosis, can project certain levels of unusual behaviour and ability. It leaves the person in a state of high suggestibility, and creates a mind-set that often allows for the opportunity to treat many physical and mental problems.

Living in an age of scientific discovery and endeavour, it’s easy to credit the benefits of hypnotherapy to the pioneers of modern day science. In actual fact it’s a practice that has been around for many years. Rudimentary versions of hypnotherapy can be seen as far back as the sleep temples and mystery religions of ancient Graeco-Roman society, and although providing often tenuous links, some parallels can be drawn between hypnotism and the trance-inducing rituals that were common to the majority of pre-literate societies.

However, it wasn’t until the 1840s that Scottish physician James Braid pioneered the concept of hypnotism, founded upon basic psychological and physiological mechanisms. Braid’s work was of limited influence in the UK but in France his ideas were developed into a more sophisticated psychological treatment that soon was to be utilised throughout the world.

However, despite often providing a when-all-is-lost cure for people open-minded enough to try a different approach, the rest of society often view it with suspicion and confusion, a notion that governing bodies throughout the world have moved smartly to dispel. In 2001, the Professional Affairs Board of the British Psychological Society (BPS) commissioned a working party of expert psychologists to publish a report entitled The Nature of Hypnosis. Its remit was to provide a considered statement about hypnosis and important issues concerning its application and uses, they arrived at the following conclusions:

There is convincing evidence that hypnotic procedures are effective in the management and relief of both acute and chronic pain and in assisting in the alleviation of pain. Hypnosis and the practice of self-hypnosis may significantly reduce general anxiety, tension and stress in a manner similar to other relaxation and self-regulation procedures. Likewise, hypnotic treatment may assist in insomnia in the same way as other relaxation methods. There is encouraging evidence demonstrating the beneficial effects of hypnotherapeutic procedures in alleviating the symptoms of a range of complaints that fall under the heading ‘psychosomatic illness.’ There is evidence from several studies that its [hypnosis] inclusion in a weight reduction program may significantly enhance outcome. (BPS, The Nature of Hypnosis, 2001). 



Thanks to journals and research such as this, the clouds are beginning to shift and people are finally beginning to see the benefits of this hypnotic art. The Orators Forum Institute for Human Development & Behavioural Therapy in Dubai has been devoted to the task of raising awareness since their inception three years ago. 

Co-founder Mr Hussain feels that at present, people only brush the tip of their potential, “To understand its benefits [hypnotherapy], people first need to appreciate how the human mind works. You can almost split it into two sections, the conscious and sub-conscious mind. Whilst the conscious mind governs our short term memory, reasoning, logic and behavioural patterns, the subconscious is found deeper within our core and is the root of our every emotion, creative endeavour, sense and deeply engrained memory.

The subconscious mind is what we use in hypnotherapy as this houses the feelings and emotions that make us what we are. It’s sometimes easier to liken the whole process to the workings of a computer. Everybody has the same hardware (the brain) however; we each program the software with our own life experiences. Smells, sights and sounds all find home deep within our subconscious and make us the person we are today.”

From birth to around the age of seven, the subconscious mind is all that we use. We’re purely instinctive creatures who, without the vetting service provided by our conscious self, are free to act, react and soak up every aspect of life. This is why the brain takes in so much knowledge in these formative years – we simply assimilate all that we’re given, whether right or wrong. It’s only when we reach an older age that we begin to question the things that happen to us. Is this right for me? Is this my normal way of doing things? Is this the way right-thinking society acts? Our lives are then governed by our conscious mind and social convention. As a result we build a mental filter for what reaches our subconscious and what doesn’t.

Hussain continued, “Despite the fact that many of our memories have been locked away for years, there are triggers that can revivify them in a way so powerful that it is almost like we’re re-living the experience. How many times have we heard an oldie on the radio and been instantly transported back to that moment in time. The sights, the feelings, the sounds, even the smells, all evoked because this one piece of music has released feelings and emotions trapped in our subconscious.” The majority of problems we suffer in life can often be put down to a past event or situation. Something traumatic that has happened, or an event that we have viewed in such a way that it affected our subsequent judgment and decisions. Even moments that can seem purely unrelated can often, if traced back, provide the answers to all manner of problems we suffer, including depression, lack of confidence and addiction.

Hussain again refers to the computer analogy in his explanation, “Whatever your problem may be, it’s like the hard drive of your computer has been hit by a virus. To eradicate the problem we need to delve deep into your subconscious and re-programme the way you look it. Only when we replace the negative feeling for a positive will our long-term memory assist in alleviating a problem.

However, although hypnotherapy has proved amazingly effective in countless cases, it’s certainly not without its flaws and drawbacks. “We’re not doctors,” insists Hussain. “For anyone with any problem we absolutely believe that they need to consult with their GP as to a course of treatment. However, as a complimentary therapy, hypnosis can certainly help someone get the most out of their programme towards health and well-being.”

How hypnotherapy differs from conventional treatment can be found in one word, cooperation. Hussain continues, “When a doctor operates on you, he is in charge and he uses his knowledge to heal you the best way he knows how. On your part you do nothing, except get knocked out and lie there. In hypnotherapy it’s very much a two way street. If you’re not willing, or able to cooperate fully then getting any sort of successful result will be difficult.”

From the outside looking in, this is where hypnotherapy’s main problem lies. The theory is sound and it makes perfect sense that should someone be able to tap into the subconscious, positive memories and influence could indeed be used to alter our perception of previous events. However, if an individual finds it impossible to fully let go in the therapy session, then it seems that a stalemate is reached. Which is something of a shame as hypnotherapy, although underappreciated, seems such a powerful tool that, if used correctly, it could genuinely change our lives for the better.

Hypnotherapy – how does it work?

Initially, a session will take place so that your therapist can learn about you. Going through all the experiences that your conscious mind will allow you to impart – anything remaining will hopefully come out under hypnosis.

Your hypnotherapy session will follow but only after the full process is explained to you, how your mind works and how hypnotherapy performs alongside it. Once you’re in full possession of the facts your session can begin.

Hypnotherapy is rather like being in a daydream, it is a state called ‘trance’. It might be a deep trance or it might only be a light trance. Whatever level you achieve it’s absolutely the right level for you at that moment. 

In general a hypnotic trance is a relaxing and tranquil experience, similar to when you first wake up in the morning. While hypnotised you will be aware of all physical sensations around you, perhaps even noticing sounds you wouldn’t otherwise be aware of.

Whilst in this state you are able to gain access to the deeper levels of awareness, you are usually oblivious to in your normal day-to-day functioning. More often than not, what you are experiencing as a problem is only a surface effect of a deeper underlying mental or emotional cause. It is at these deeper levels of consciousness that the hypnotherapist will work with you, bringing about a change in the way you feel, think and behave.

For information on hypnotherapy in Dubai visit www.ofi.ae

Published in AQUARIUS Magazine in Dubai, December 2009

The alternative guide to 

quitting smoking

You know the scary facts. Your smoker's cough keeps you awake at night. You've thrown your cigarettes away six times this year. So why are you still puffing?

 See if one of these therapies suits you and start 2010 smoke-free

1. Hypnotherapy

Although hypnotherapy sounds very alternative, its principles are actually very straightforward. Hypnotherapy uses relaxation to open up the subconscious mind to communication, and therefore to emotional, mental, spiritual and physical healing. 

In a hypno session, your therapist will sit you in a comfortable position, and ask you to close your eyes while she guides you through various relaxation techniques, such as breathing and counting, until you are in a very relaxed state - similar to when you zone out at the traffic lights. 

Once you are in the hypnotic trance, called somnambulism, the therapist will talk to you about your smoking habit, why you started, your emotions linked to smoking and the positive aspects of giving up. The therapist may also use visualisation techniques to help you associate smoking with negative images and associate non-smoking with a positive, happy future. 

Good for: Hypnotherapy works for all quitters, but is especially useful for breaking the habitual addiction.


 2. Neuro-LinguisticProgramming (NLP)

Some people describe NLP as a ‘users manual for the brain'. It works on the basis that by becoming aware of how our mind works, we can re-programme our thought processes and behaviour patterns, and bring positive change to all aspects of our lives, such as improving relationships, boosting self-esteem and turbo-charging stagnant careers. NLP techniques range from becoming aware of eye contact, to working out what your negative ‘anchors' are, which put you in a bad mood. During an NLP session, your practitioner will ask you questions to map out your mental and emotional associations with smoking, and then will guide you through various visualisation and association techniques, to break down your mental image of yourself as a smoker.
 
Good for: Cracking the mental and emotional addiction to smoking

Orators' Forum - Institute for Human Development and Behavioural Therapy in Dubai Knowledge Village offers NLP, hypnotherapy, cognitive behavioural therapy and more. After an initial consultation, a package will be tailor-made to suit your needs, which could involve anything from two to six sessions. 
 
Verdict: Inga-Marie Barnett was a habitual and social smoker for eight years until she started NLP sessions. "The initial assessment took a few hours as NLP practitioner Hussain delved into every nitty gritty detail of my past. He made reams of notes, then asked me a set of questions to determine whether I was an auditory, visual, or kinesthetic person. He thought I was both visual, as I had been doodling while I spoke, and kinesthetic, as when I spoke about feelings I touched my heart or tummy, which my answers confirmed. 

For the actual NLP, I sat opposite Hussain and he led me through relaxation techniques until I was relaxed but still aware of what was going on, like the stage just before sleep. We then worked through images and associations, to remove my mental associations with smoking, and replace them with positive associations with other things, such a colours and smells. In one exercise, I had to picture myself in the future as a non-smoker, and tell Hussain what scent I could smell and what I could taste. These associations aimed to cement the images in my mind, by drawing on multiple senses. 

In one of my last NLP sessions, Hussain asked me to think about when I started smoking, which made me realise that my smoking had been triggered by a specific event in my life - this was an unexpected realisation for me. NLP enabled me to change the way I look at smoking, and to change the way I see myself. It gave me self-esteem, goals and the strength to be a non-smoking version of myself. 

Now, the thought of smoking seems disgusting. I feel much more positive and, although the sessions were very intense and emotionally draining at the time, I feel as if a huge weight has been lifted."
 
 

 

CERTIFIED BY:

 


ORATORS' FORUM  INSTITUTE
for Human Development and Behavioural Therapy FZ-LLC
Office #44, 3rd Floor, Block 18, Knowledge Village, 
Dubai, United Arab Emirates
Fax: +971-(0)4-3678636   P.O. Box: 502221
Email: orators@ofi.ae        Website: www.ofi.ae     
Tel: +971-(0)55-5538295 or +971-(0)50-7950295